Bonding When You Aren’t Breastfeeding

It can be hard in the early days of your baby’s life. You have waited nine months to meet this special person, but they want to eat or sleep, and mom is the source of food. It can be tempting to offer to bottle feed your baby, both to help your partner, and to be a part of that wonderful bond. If bottle feeding is not part of the the plan, it’s important that you find your own ways of bonding with your child.

1. Do the dirty work

It can be your job to burp, change, and soothe your newborn back to sleep once they are done eating. This may not seem like a big deal, but this gives your baby time to learn your scent, heartbeat, and to become as familiar with you as with the birthing parent.

2. Skin to skin

Skin to skin is one of the easiest ways to bond with your baby. Carriers make this easy, even if they look intimidating, but hiring a postpartum doula or babywearing educator to teach you what carrier options you have and how to use them can be a huge help! Your baby will quickly be falling asleep, snuggled into your chest, while you get things done (or relax and watch a movie!). Our favourite product for this is the Sleep Belt!

3. Bath time

Bath time is a wonderful opportunity for a parent and baby to bond. There are a few options here, all of them good ones! You can use a sink or small baby tub, or you can get in the bath and bring baby with you. Either way, you are gently and tenderly taking care of your child. This ends up being a very special time for a lot of parents and babies!

4. Sing

You don’t have to be an opera singer to belt out “Twinkle Twinkle” a few (hundred) times. Try picking a song that is special for just you and your baby (it doesn’t have to be a lullaby!). Not only will baby bond with you and your voice, you will have a tune that will come in handy for cranky nights, long car trips, and bumped heads as your child grows.

5. Read

Studies show that children who are read to by their fathers have better literacy skills as they age. Even if your baby is too young to follow the story, they will respond to the colourful pictures and your voice. This is a great addition to a bedtime routine and can help set the stage for a life-long love of books.

Image by Eduardo Merrille