Creating Holiday Traditions

A new baby is a special time for a family, especially around the holidays. Whatever your family celebrates, the holidays can suddenly become a difficult, even contentious, time, if you haven’t discussed traditions and expectations in advance.

Many people have fond memories of how holidays were celebrated in their homes as children and they plan to carry on those traditions with their own family. It’s easy to forget you are merging two sets of traditions! This can have added implications if both parents are from different religious, cultural, or celebratory backgrounds.

So how do  you make it work?

Communication and compromise are the two most important gifts you can give each other this holiday season. Remember that something that seems silly to you, may have years of special memories attached for your co-parent.

Try writing down your most treasured family holiday traditions. It might be special foods, special activities, particular dates or outings, certain music, games, or gifts. Remember the ones that made the holidays magical to you as a child.

Now show each other your list!

You may have already started doing some of the things on each others lists before becoming parents. Now is the time to pick some child-specific activities and begin to incorporate them into your plans. Pick things from both lists.

Include extended family in the decision making. Perhaps there is a particular tradition that the grandparents would like to take point on! What a lovely opportunity to bond. This is particularly good if your families come from different faith or cultural backgrounds. Grandparents are lovely connections to our cultural history and this is especially true around the holidays,

Perhaps the most important thing of all is to make sure you start new traditions. Ones that are specific to your family. This could be something you saw in a movie, something a friend does, or even something that happens by accident that you enjoy so much you want to keep doing it year after year!

Don’t forget, have fun! Let the stress go and enjoy!