Fifty shades of … Oh crap, was that the baby?

Disclaimer: this post may be sexually explicit. If you are offended by explicit language, this post may not be the best one for you to read. And yes, every pun is absolutely intended!

Let’s get down to the real nitty gritty.

Sex.

Sex after having a baby can be a bit like your first time all over again; little awkward, a little uncomfortable, and it might hurt (stop if it does!). Added to that, you are always have listening for your baby.

Don’t worry, it doesn’t have to be bad! Here are a few tips to help you find your new normal!

1. Don’t skip first and second base: there is something to be said for necking on the couch! Lots of foreplay will also help with lubrication, something that affects many postpartum women. Speaking of…..lube is your friend! Don’t be stingy.

3. Take it slow: whether you had a caesarean, an episiotomy, a tear, or nothing, you were pregnant and birthed a baby. That means that your tissue has stretched, and possibly been stitched. If something hurts, stop. Try more foreplay or lube, or a different position.

4. It’s a whole new world:…or at least, a new experience. Many women find they respond differently after having a baby. Things you liked previously may not feel good or be exciting any more. You may need to experiment with your partner to find what works best.

5. Girl, Interrupted?: It seems inevitable! Just as you get into the swing of things you stop dead, “was that the baby?” There may be times when, no matter what you do, you will be interrupted. But you can also try to time things to give you the best window of opportunity. Once you know your baby’s schedule, you can time things for 30 minutes after baby falls asleep. By then, baby should be in a deep sleep and won’t wake.

Bonus tip: masturbation can be your best friend here. It can be easier to find out what feels good, what doesn’t, and to rediscover your sexuality with some quality alone time.

Image courtesy of Jean Koulev, under Creative Commons Licensing.