I’m done. I’m done being a doula.
More specificially, I am done being a doula who accepts the current status quo.
I am done being part of a group that claims a sisterhood while stabbing each other in the back with hurtful words.
This is my letter of resignation from the “sisterhood” of doulas.
You see, at Toronto Family Doulas we are different, unique. It isn’t exactly a secret, and it’s certainly not something we are ashamed of, but maybe you don’t know. All of us are trained, training, or certified with ProDoula. All of us previously trained and certified with other doula agencies, but we left those organizations and found our home with ProDoula.
ProDoula believes that doulas need to step up. They teach us to be judgement-free, to be professional, to work with medical staff instead of against them. They teach us to check our baggage at the door. They remind us that what we do is valuable, and that we deserve to be paid.
None of that seems bad, right?
For standing true to those teachings, we have been called heartless, aggressive, immoral, unethical, money grubbing, and soulless. We have been told we have no heart, that we care more about money than our clients, that we are aggressive, and that our clients are just a pay cheque.
I want to set the record straight, once and for all. Providing professional services, which benefit our clients, is what we do.
Without our clients, we wouldn’t be here!
We think about our clients often, we check in when we know things are rough, we are prepared to leave our own lives and our own families at a moments notice. We care, deeply.
Yes, we also believe that our doulas should be paid a living wage.
We will not apologize for that.
We do not just believe in strong, confident women giving birth. We believe in strong, confident doulas. We believe that doulas who can pay their bills are doulas who are present, committed, and passionate. We believe that doulas who are paid a living wage are able to further their knowledge through education, are able to serve their clients with more dedication, and don’t come to your birth worrying about who is picking their children up from school.
So I am done. Done being a doula who lies down and pretends the status quo is acceptable. Done being a doula who believes passionately that women should not be bullied in childbirth, but who accepts doulas bullying each other.
At Toronto Family Doulas, we are proud of our association with ProDoula. We are proud that we stand for integrity and compassion. We are proud that we build strong relationships with care providers, instead of adversarial ones. We are proud that we are building a strong business that gives back to our community in so many ways.
We are proud to be professional ProDoulas.